poetry

A Garden of Overgrown Emotion

You serve as the wrong type of inspiration.

Invoking pain,

Suffering,

And an intense kind of desperation.

 

You drew me in with your lonely, troubled mind.

I wished to change,

Relieve,

And release the darkness that was strongly confined.

 

I was hypnotized by your willingness for me;

To always be there,

That much I needed,

But the rest of you I couldn’t see.

 

Until my friends would break me from the haze;

My fate revealed

But only temporarily

Until you locked me back into your gaze.

 

I wonder if I’ll ever escape

Or if this will be my reality.

Is it a matter of strength

Or am I trapped to bare this brutality.

 

Deceiving looks,

Promising myself

Eventually, I will be okay.

 

Painful nights.

Followed by a sense

Of promising light that seems to quickly fade away.

 

Is this how it works,

Being in love?

Or is our garden overgrown.

 

Is it game of intensified emotions

That consumes its players?

Or is this relationship overblown.

 

Is the downfall worth the gain?

Is the passion worth the pain?

I would miss you.

 

Is this really how it’s played?

Does true love cut like a blade?

I can push through.

But yet again,

I have changed.

A pleasant girl

Now deranged

His darkness

Overlaid

Her aspirations

Decayed

Everything

put second-place

To the one thing

She wished not to lose,

When he’s the one thing

That she should.

.

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Broken

My cold bedroom floor pulls me apart
As my mind unravels.
My spine aches from the solid wood
Yet it seems to comfort me.
The gray light burning in the clouds
Sneaks in around the shades pulled shut.
I listen to the freezing rain knocking on my window
Wondering if I should let it in;
Open myself up to the cold
And let it devour my already wasted soul,
Freezing in place my fate
That has been decided from the start.

Wrecked

Mascara stained shirts

Blood shot eyes

I stare into the blank space

My eyes burning

No one understood

That it was too much

So I drifted off

In my own tears

Forgetting the stress

Forgetting the pain

The sanity I clutched so tightly,

My hands trembling

Released

Kicking and screaming

My vision went blurry

Knocking out people as I went

When I smashed against the ground

Realizing I had hit the bottom

My vision cleared

And all I saw was the aftermath of ruble and glass

Beautiful friendships

Beautiful realities

All I had worked so hard for

Shattered through my blindness

I tried to put them back together

But the cuts were too deep

The mistakes too unforgiving

I guess it was bound to happen

I was a rubber band stretched to the max

Just waiting to snap

And that’s just what I did.

When the Music Stops

Record spinning beneath a single burning candle,

Fighting the darkness settling in.

Your hands grasp my hips

As we sway back and fourth to the music

Filling the air with hope;

Hope that I can over come

This burning uncertainty in my lungs.

Your wind is free of worry,

Settling into the cold basement floor

With the dormant dust.

This fickle love that only I can see

Is rotting away at every last drop of faith I have,

Draining out of the tips of my fingers.

As the last beam of the setting sun reaches through the window,

The room is eaten by dominating darkness

And the single candle is left to luminate the room entirely on its own.

The song begins to fade away,

Leaving the startling sound of the needle scraping the center of the vinyl.

The music stops,

The light blows out,

And you open your eyes.

Summer Fantasy

As the autumn leaves bury my dreams in the dead grass,

I realize our seemingly perfect relationship

Was merely a summer fantasy.

The feelings were distorted

In the warm July heat.

Maybe it was the humidity,

Or maybe it was the countless cliches you fed to my naive heart.

Either way,

We were both fooled into thinking what we had was love,

When it was just both of us longing for something real

And settling for the closest thing we could find.

The truth wasn’t in plain sight;

It was hidden around the edges of our beautiful masterpiece

Painted over a weak canvas.

The worst part was that I knew,

But I so stupidly dismissed

The faint glimmer of uncertainty I saw,

When your lips first touched mine.